Dying to Self to live into the Other

Bless me God for I have sinned. It has been months [it seems like years]since my last confession. My soul is weary and my heart weak. Grant me, a child of longing, peace and comfort in your ways, in your compassion, deliver me.

I want to share with y'all a bit on a gathering Presbymergent held last week. Last week 31 "Loyal Radicals" gathered in Louisville, KY [home of the hot brown & all things Presby]to hold a historical conversation. We came together to share, witness, and participate in unimaginable ways as to how the Spirit is moving in and around the people of God.

We gathered in hope that a common understanding, a unified vision would emerge to carry our community forward and connect with the larger conversation of what to do next with all of this "church stuff."

I know I arrived with certain expectations. I had hoped that we would emerge looking and feeling like what I had visioned and structure the community to look like. I wanted Presbymergent to be the Apple Store of Presbyterian culture. I hinged the success of the gathering upon how much the end product looked like my vision.

What I discovered as we sat in a large circle witnessing to each other the moving of the Spirit was that I was full of shit. As hard as I tried to be real and honest with all there I was harboring my vision to be the pinnacle of thought.

There was a point when the Presbyterian prophet and scholar, Carol Howard Merritt, led us through an exercise to discover the who, what, how of Presbymergent desires and hopes that I realized that I was not really listening to the Spirit. I looked like I was and at times I was hearing what was being said.

It was like that scene from "White Men Can't Jump" when Sidney and Billy are discussing the ability of Billy to "hear" Gladys Knight & the Pips. I was listening to the conversation but I was not hearing.

I listened to what folks were testifying to. I needed to hear the story behind the story. The story filled with struggle and hurt. The story of hope and joy. The story that is rooted in a deep desire to go deeper with God and demands that there be a space within the denomination to do so.

At one point I realized that my hurt, my story, my expectations, my convictions got in the way of a mutually healing dialogue. I felt the Spirit rush over me. The expectations I held, the convictions...they fell aside and a Spirit of compassion rushed to fill the empty space where I tightly held my heart. It was then and there I felt a peace.

The Spirit appeared in the room through the hearts of the gathered and we stopped. We gathered the hopes, dreams, expectations, needs, and wants that we brought with us. We placed them in a bowl and burned them. We offered up our hearts as a gift to the Spirit of God. I was overcome with emotion. I was able to hear the story of my sisters and brothers in a way that connected my story to theirs. I witnessed a renewing of spirit in the gathering. Hope spilled over the chalice onto the floor. Then hope gathered upon the floor, collecting in pools. Pools so large we could not avoid them. We began to step in the pool of hope and became soiled in Gods hope. The future of the denomination began to look brighter, lighter. Gone were the importance to tell my story, ready and available was the ability to lose myself within the story of the other. Compelled to hear by the divine presence of a people seeking understanding.

"From dust you came and to dust you shall return" perhaps we need to hear these words more often as we seek to be a church that is a vital component in the life of America today. The PC(USA) will not escape death. Can we ask, "How do we die in a way that nourishes and protects the seeds we have planted?" It is my hope that hearing each other leads to a death that nourishes and furthers the glorious works of the "Kin-dom of God"

I wonder what the denomination would look like if we stopped demand that others listen to us and intentionally sought to hear one another. Gone the sting of death maybe, but we are left in a time that fear, uncertainty, and doubt are held as a familiar and comfortable presence. Imagine as we hear the other we are delivered to a place beyond ourselves and rest at the foot of the cross. That place to which all are welcome, all are silent...

Welcome to Nuni De Community

I love “church.” I love walking with folks as we struggle to live in to the call on our lives. I love wrestling with difficult questions. I love a good sermon. I love beautiful theology. I love communities that reach beyond themselves.

There are many things I love about the “church.” To say I love them is on par with a fluid passion that penetrates obsession with ease and rests comfortably close to apathy in many moments.

I am tired of carbonite churches with their BS liturgy and overly produced worship music. I believe there is room for them in the Kingdom. I just am tired of the happy meals many churches are serving us.

We get the sampling of tatters in the greeter at the door. The warm, silver haired man with the honest eyes reaching for your hand as you enter the door. It is the flock of seniors that hover over you that freaks me out.

We are offered a seat but not a position at the table. We are relegated to the toy in the box. We are there to be counted and displayed. We are never to fully involve ourselves in the community and challenge the paradigm in which mission, evangelism, or education is done. Tradition is the rock to which we stand.

I am tired and weary. I want so much to be a part of a community of saints that are vulnerable, honest, and seeking transformation. Perhaps I am a bit rustic in my want. Perhaps not, I just know that I am not alone in my quest.

I have had many conversations over the past few years with strangers in pubs, on planes, and in the lunch room of a rural central Oklahoma McDonalds. A common theme in this conversation has been the lack of honesty in the worshiping community or a place to be part of and have their voice heard.

I am a recent graduate from Austin Seminary. I am filled with ideas and a passion to be the “church” to those God sends me. I sometimes make myself laugh as I really get a whiff of the smoke I blow. I am an idealist with very little reality.

In seminary every paper I turned in said, “Beautiful ideas. I love what you are speaking of. Your paper lacks structure and is not very cohesive and is not very clear.” I dream and dream big.

This has lead me to dream of the “church” I would love to be a part of. I spent the last year in seminary shaping it from all possible ways. Almost every paper in that time was in some way related to my idea of a “church.”

I gave this idea a name, Nuni De Community. I set up a website. I set up a twitter account. I dreamed of it most of the time. I spilled this dream on to 50 plus pages for my final paper in seminary when the paper required only 15 pages. I was filled with excitement and adventure as I created this vision.

I imagined the who, what, and why’s. Then I got married and moved to Louisville. I chased many leads to serve this community in ministry. Then I got to hang out with Philip. He mans the Church Growth and Development Office in Louisville. He is also my wife’s boss. He loved my ideas. He encouraged me. I spoke to anyone that would listen. I email BRC. I called this EP and that. I enlisted the minds of my Presbymergent family. Then I thought…why not.

So here I am. I am ten days from cracking the wine bottle on a worshiping community. I have a vision and hope. I have no budget. I have a few folks committed to be in community. We have no idea what this will look like or if it will be anything.

I am seeking to plant a worshiping community with no money and am hoping that it will inspire others to just go out and gather as a community and invite others into that sacred space for fellowship and wrestle along side each other in the difficult questions with honesty, intimacy, and integrity.

Our mission statement:

We are a worshiping community in Old Louisville seeking to be the Body of Christ to our neighbors. We wrestle with today’s church and its inability to transform the lives of those that find themselves on its shores. We seek new ways to be an incarnation body to the world. We desire to be free of the chains of differences and celebrate diversity, in all of its beauty. We answer the call on our lives in service to our communities as we endeavor to be the church and cease doing church.

We gather to create a safe place for all to explore faith, grace, love, and compassion.

We are not a “church” founded in bricks and mortar. We are a worshiping community founded in the principles of Gods unbiased love and never ending grace.

We are not just Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, or Catholic…or even Christian. We are seeking to be Christ-like, sans all the religious pomp and circumstance. We subscribe to a belief in God as witnessed in Jesus the Christ. We are inclusive and open to all. All are welcome...come.

I will document the growth of this community and our journey to be a worshiping community in Old Louisville that seeks to be the Body of Christ to our neighbors as we wrestle with the crap we bring to the Table here on this site every fourth Friday.

If you are in Louisville we meet at the Old Louisville Coffeehouse on the NE corner of Forth & Hill Monday night from 7-9pm beginning September 01, 2008. All are welcome to Nuni De Community.

Boycott

Acts 1: 9 After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.

There’s a new boycott in town. The American Family Association is calling for all Christians across the United States to stop watching the Discovery Channel. This is because the network is due to broadcast a documentary tonight about the bones of Jesus being found. It’s another attempt by media personalities to discredit the New Testament and it’s something that we shouldn’t treat lightly.

Why? Well, read the passage again from the Book of Acts (Acts 1:1-9). Luke tells his readers that after Christ’s work was completed, He ascended into heaven. There’s nothing about continuing His life on earth, or of marrying Mary Magdalene, or of having a son called Judah. Luke is very clear about what actually happened: Jesus left the earth and went back to be in heaven. His purpose was to let the disciples begin a new faith and that with the promised help of the Holy Spirit, the Church of Christ would commence.

If we allow ourselves to be duped into doubting Luke’s account because of wild theories by movie directors and questionable archeologists, then we lose our faith in the Scriptures, which in turn means we lose our faith in Christ. There’s no gray area in this situation: we either accept the Ascension or we reject 2000 years of what the Disciples of Christ experienced.

So, should we boycott the Discovery Channel? It produces a lot of interesting and intriguing shows, but when it meddles with the Christian faith at this level, then I guess Christians should think twice about watching it. If it was broadcasting child pornography, everyone would avoid it and seek to have it banned; but because it’s only tampering with our historical faith, we may not think that it’s that serious. The trouble is this: if the bones of Christ exist, then Christianity is false. If the Ascension actually happened, then the Discovery Channel is making the biggest mistake in all of its network history.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help us to make good and godly decisions in our lives. We know that we are far from perfect and fall into sin far too easily. Grant us the gift of discernment, so that we may not be taken in by those who have an agenda to discredit You, usurp the Scriptures, and destroy the Church. Show us where the Truth can actually be found – in Your Holy words and deeds. In Your Sacred Name, we pray. Amen.