The older I have gotten the saltier I get. I type this in my pirate gear with my trusty parrot on my shoulder. I have been engaged in seminary coming up on two years. I am about to enter my senior year, the season the all of this is supposed to come together into a clear focused picture. Well...I await this prospect.
I am enjoying the process that I am bound to here in Austin. I love the conversations, the discussions, the comradely that is available here. What I am shout to get of my lawn is, the lack of resources to serve as I understand I am to serve and lead as I have been called to lead.
First of all let me say that I struggle almost daily with the idea of myself being ordained and leading in ministry. What I am convinced of is my call to be the thorn in the sides of ALL. I am that guy that is upset about almost everything. This does not mean I am not excited, passionate, or inspired by nothing at all.
It is quite the opposite. I am excited and passionate about everything. I have a vision and I am frustrated by the apparent absence of a place to serve. I do not want to do jail ministry. I do not feel called to this. Just because I am tattooed does not mean I am only to cower in the shadows of our nations prisons. I refuse to cower here and be stifled by those uncomfortable by my presence or convictions to voice the injustice I bear witness to.
I do not want to solely do youth ministry. This is because I believe in a holistic approach to congregational ministry. We need to sever as a whole and not divide. The youth have a place as missionaries and servants to this world just as valid as we do. They have a vibrant and skilled purpose. They may not have the financial stronghold to sway committees, commissions, presbyteries, synods, assemblies...they do have a blessed set of functioning organs filled with the desire to be near God just as passionate as you and I.
I do not want to massage the pockets of the powerful and lame. What is wrong with this picture? We bend to the collective whim of any one with money. If our greatest fear is the church dying then, we all need to bail and rejoin the Catholic Church. The PC(USA) is only one expression of the body. We are not essential, required, or special in service to Christ. The MISSION of God has a body. This body is the catholic church. We can proclaim it in our creeds. We cannot proclaim it in our lives. It is a blessing to be allowed to be a vessel of God mission. The BODY of Christ is not the MISSION!
What do we fear? We sanitize everything in our culture. We are fearful of folks discovering that the hamburger that clown served you is actually a cow. We are fearful of our children making mistakes and criminalize them for things that you and I did as children. We surround ourselves with a fearful wall of terror and deceit. We lie to ourselves and demand more protection, more of the pie.
We enslave our own citizens in low paying demoralizing jobs and demand that they stay over there. We the church take part in these things. Our silence speaks the loudest. We demand that the government listens and helps provide for the poor. We send our pocket change and sometimes our kids over there. Hoping that the kids come back with stories of how they contributed to the war on poverty and how grateful those poor little such and such were. This boils down to how these charitable actions make us feel.
We are fearful of new movements and ideas. In America alone over the last 50 years we have witnessed many counter cultural and progressive movements. We have seen the Peoples Temple, The Vineyard Churches, Branch Davidians, Calvary Chapels, The Purpose Driven Life, the Willow Creek Church, the Emerging Church, the Mega Churches, the Neo-Orthodoxy, the Jesus Freaks (hippies for Jesus), the Promise Keepers, and God Men.
Every generation has its reaction to the environment surrounding it. Every generation fights the previous generation to assert its voice in the ecclesial power structure. What makes these days different? NOTHING! The body ebbs and flows. Our biggest failing has been to be too proud of what we have built. Is the PC(USA) our Tower of Babel? Are we being good stewards as we grip the reigns upon the traditional structures we all matured in?
If we hold too tightly to our denominational roots we shall strangle the life out of the very denominations we seek to protect. We are called to be transformed. We are called to be in this world and not of this world. We are not called to section off the Kingdom of God at cut rate prices and commodify the very transformation we are given freely into non irritating culturally sensitive segregating ass patting sessions. Transformation does not come absent of wrestling. We are losing the tension between the divine and profane. What do we as the PC(USA) have to offer the world?
So what do you want to do Ryan? What are your grand ideas of transformation?
First I want to encourage and thank everyone that is serving and has served as a pastor. It is a tireless and often demanding way to serve.
I want to redefine the paradigm that we look to pastors to fill. This something I am still exploring and am certain it will change as I encounter the challenges of ministry. There must be ordination standards to maintain…perhaps a larger flexibility and longer program would help. Perhaps even a mentor relationship as part of this formation.
I want to run as fast as I can and trust that God is with me. I still have no prudence in this area.
I would like to see more missional activity in our local neighborhoods. We need to start of by knowing our neighbors. We can not walk with anyone if we do not know them.
We need to understand that we need to have a transforming message that has met, consequence, integrity, honesty, relevancy, and love. Exclusion does not breed any of these things.
Youth need to be taken seriously, as do seniors, families, singles, men, women, and community. The seed will not last on the rocky path.
We have to stop trying to keep up with the Joneses!!! The more we have to consume to fit into this culture the future away from the still small voice of God we go. We must search our hearts to see if we are being good stewards of what we are given.
We need to remember to laugh. God laughs.
I am convinced that God is ok with the occasional curse word. What truly matters is what is in your heart.
It is not about us! All things lead to God. It is our finitude that embarks us on a wayward journey in the other way.